<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>new agent in town by dizzy</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092699">new agent in town</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy'>dizzy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>we're all fucking fine 2020 advent fics [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:55:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>803</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092699</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzy/pseuds/dizzy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan's not too happy that Phil's chatting at the watercooler with Agent Everman. </p><p>Set in the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/14733611">Celebration universe</a> but you don't really need to know much about it, just that they're FBI agents.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Howell/Phil Lester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>we're all fucking fine 2020 advent fics [11]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>new agent in town</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: <i>I would love to see something in the Celebration universe!</i></p><p>Anon, my friend, I'm certain this is not what you were asking for, but this is what you're getting.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It starts when Dan sees Phil at the water cooler talking to a tall man wearing a nicely fitted dark suit. His hair is buzzed close to his head and he's wearing sunglasses indoors and his eyebrows seem permanently raised, like he's expressing both disinterest and distrust in whatever Phil is saying. </p><p>It's combated by the friendly and very interested smile on his face, though. </p><p>Dan barges over and reaches between them, grabbing sugar packets for his coffee. "Didn't you already-" </p><p>Dan rips them open and aggressively pours sugar into his cup. He has, in fact, already, and the fact that the first drink he takes back in their office is cloyingly sweet almost to the point of being undrinkable just seems fitting. </p><p>-</p><p>"You're in a snit today," Phil points out. </p><p>"It's paperwork day," Dan says. "Why aren't you?" </p><p>Paperwork days are notoriously the worst days. </p><p>Phil shrugs. "Just in a good mood." </p><p>"Right." Dan can feel the stormclouds gathering over his head. "Anything to do with the new agent?" </p><p>"Everman?" Phil asks, typing away on his computer. "He's nice, isn't he?" </p><p>"I don't like him," Dan says. </p><p>"Really? Why not?" Phil asks. </p><p>"I get bad vibes from him." </p><p>Phil seems... dubious. "He seemed nice to me." </p><p>"I think he was flirting with you." </p><p>"Dan!" Phil laughs. "He was not. We weren't even really talking." </p><p>"Looked like talking to me." </p><p>"I asked him how his first week was going." </p><p>Dan makes a hrmph sound. "That's talking." </p><p>"You're ridiculous, do you know that?" Phil asks. He's rolling his eyes and full of fondness and somehow that makes Dan fall even further into his sulk. </p><p>-</p><p>Dan tries his best not to meet the new agent, but of course Phil invites Everman to lunch with them. </p><p>He tries to get out of it. He tells Phil he's not hungry. Unfortunately, Phil sees through his every excuse and threatens to withhold certain non work appropriate activities, which proves a very effective way of getting what he wants. </p><p>"You'll like him," Phil says. "I promise." </p><p>"I really won't." </p><p>"No," Phil reassures him. "You definitely will." </p><p>-</p><p>"I hate you," Dan tells Phil. </p><p>Everman has excused himself to the bathroom. </p><p>"Me?" Phil has three french fries in his mouth. </p><p>"Yes." </p><p>"But you're having fun!" Phil frowns as he chews his mouthful. </p><p>"Exactly," Dan says. </p><p>He didn't want to have fun. He didn't want to be caught off guard by Everman's sense of humor. He didn't want Phil to be so fucking <i>right</i>. </p><p>-</p><p>"So," Everman says, looking between them. "How long have you been together?" </p><p>Phil snorts soda out of his nose. "What? We're not - I mean - how-"</p><p>"Phil." Dan shuts down Phil's babble with a word. He looks at Everman, all those tentative positive feelings evaporating. "What do you mean?" </p><p>"Uhm." Everman looks between them. He's got an expression on his face like he's analyzing new information. "Partners. How long have you been partners. At this agency." </p><p>Right. </p><p>Partners. At the FBI. </p><p>Dan tries to slow his heart rate. </p><p>Phil mops up the drink from his chin and also the table in front of him. "Six years." </p><p>"Right," Everman says. "That's good." </p><p>"Yeah," Dan agrees, just desperately wanting to move the conversation on now. </p><p>He is going to remind Phil later that this is why inviting people to lunch with them is a bad idea. Hopefully Everman is new enough to be intimidated out of questioning them about any suspicions you may have. </p><p>"And how long have you been in a homosexual relationship?" he asks, using the same tone he'd used when ordering a fish sandwich earlier. </p><p>Dan responds sharply. "We're not-" </p><p>"Hey." Everman holds his hands up. "I'm just happy to meet a fellow gay." </p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"You are?" Phil sounds... delighted. </p><p>"I am." Everman's smile back is friendly and open. "Though, I am guessing it is not a good idea to be out at the agency." </p><p>"We're not out either," Dan says. "It just doesn't seem wise to give anyone information that could be used against us." </p><p>"Got it," Everman says. "Your secret is safe with me." </p><p>-</p><p>"I told you that you'd like him," Phil beams. They're just inside the front door of their flat. </p><p>"Shut up." </p><p>"You invited him over for board games!" </p><p>"Will you shut up." </p><p>"Dan! We have a friend! Who’s actually in town! Who we work with!" </p><p>"I will literally suck your dick to shut you up." </p><p>"No, I'm sorry, I'm too happy." </p><p>"Just don't leave me for him, okay?" </p><p>"Awww." Phil coos at Dan and wraps his arms around him and snuggles in close. "It's alright. I don't find him attractive like that. I'm just happy we have a friend. Doesn't it feel nice?" </p><p>Dan sighs. "Yeah, I guess it does." </p><p>Phil kisses him on the cheek. "Now, you said something about a blowjob?"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to Sarah for being my partner in writing. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>